Julie and Bish's "Webpage o' Drama"

To the blog!

Hey, well I'd just like to say that my birthday was totally amazing. Thanks a lot to everybody that helped it be awesome. Baked goods galore! The cake was totally great, since I never ever get cake for my birthday because my mom's birthday is the day before mine, so we always do something weird like fudge or brownies. That really made it great.

And the Irish carbomb made my day too. I felt kinda stupid/manly after that. Ha!

The 21st year of my life has been great so far - if things keep going this well, I'd just have to say that by June I'll win the lottery and by next February know where I will be doing missions. My dad wants to convince me that there's a lot of mission opportunities in the US too, and he's totally right. I'm not sure that he gets the fact I wanna see the great commission completed. I can't do it myself but I'm definitely up for giving as much of my life as the Lord wants to its completion.

College has really been awesome to me so far - thinking about it puts it all in perspective. Now I want to give a "life update" style post sometime.

Peace everybody!
Bish

Howdy world!

Well heck, so much has happened that this post is just going to be super long. If you have a problem with it, deal.

So, PCB was totally amazing. Making new friends and hanging with the old ones was totally awesome, not to mention the 200 people that accepted Christ while I was there. YES! The last thing I'll say about PCB was that I really had a super relaxing and fun-filled week, and you should all ask me about it and what I learned and what fun I had and all that different stuff if you wanna know about it.

I wrote a poem on the way back, so here it is: = )

I'm going to PCB
So I'm really happy
I don't want to have lied;
I am real pumped for the ride

We arrive at the villa
This is gonna be a thrilla
Let's head toward the sand
and worship with the band

I've cuddled with Jeremy
And played ultimate frisbee
Hung with the PAR guys
And also shared 'bout Christ

Remember the progressive haircut
Josh Baker got certainly messed up
And I liked the new emcee
but not as much as Shelby

We made the girls breakfast for dinner
The heretic said he wasn't a sinner!
Although Lisa and I contended
Our euchre streak certainly ended

And Lisa and Leanne
Into the water got slammed
They once were dry chicks
Until attacked by Jason and Nick

Padiak I did not much see
Maybe cuz he was shady
He and J Rice toyed with the groups
That was certainly quite a big oops!

Though I want to confess
It's not that big of a mess
We should cut Padiak slack
and spare him some flak

Chris and Jeff and Jake
They were awesome roommates
They ate many carrots
Twelves pounds is certainly lots!

And poor Jason Marx got nutted
Then he went and vomitted
The poor guy was so sick
and that made his schedule conflict

Becky had lots of fun
She hopes talk about girls will be done
And now I must admit
To her point I do submit

And Nick was a pimp
On my salad, there were unpeeled shrimp
On the ship we all posed like pirates
And the service drove some of us nuts!

The Illini managed to win
Their comeback made us all grin
Fifteen points is a big deficit
Our superiority is quite explicit

On the way home I rode the wrong bus
And I think I made a bit of fuss
That was sin, but thanks for grace
And the bus ride home seemed to race

So now I do say
thanks for those days
I like GI Joe "PSA"'s
And seeing people change their ways
So let's give some praise
And a whole bunch of yays
I like to eat hay
And live by the bay
And when I post this
It will be my birthday

So thanks for the trip to PCB
It was a real good time for me
The End

One more highlight that I forgot was our song with which we asked out the girls to our creative date, here are the lyrics. It was a medley.

(To the song Days of Elijah)
These are the days of PCB
Of sunshine and sharing and dates
And you are the girls who are lucky, because
We want you to come to our place
and though we are men who don't know you
We've seen you and think you are fresh
and we are the men in your villa, singing, with voices that just don't quite mesh!

Behold we come
To ask you on a date
Please say yes
Although we don't sing great
Come with us, we hope you realize
That you may fall in love, don't be surprised

(Key change to Tom Petty - Free Fallin')
We're some good guys
But we don't go no girlfriends
So we need you
At least for one night

You are pretty
and we want to know you
It'll be fun
It'll be just right

And it's free, free dinner
Yeah it's free, free dinner

(Now to the tune of Light the Fire in My Heart)
You see where we're going
These songs are really direct
We're tired of singing
These songs are clearly wrecked

So come with us Thursday night
We don't smell and we don't bite
You know just where we'll be
Eighteen Oh Two at five thirty
End

Those were some great times, and now they're forever immortalized on the great interweb.

So to the drama: well, let's see what happened. We had an unprecedented amount of shadiness from various sources, but I'm gonna call out Nick and say that he certainly was mackin' on the freshman girls. Good for him! I think he was legitimate and a good guy and what not, so I applaud his efforts. Chris was even a bit shady with one girl (the name remains unsaid, for the sake of my personal health and well being. I can't say names on the WPOD anymore, and maybe that's for the best).

My personal drama I'm pretty sure everyone knows about. Referencing my previous post, I want to say that I am sick of thinking about girls a whole lot and I've been working on it a lot. I did end up with a date for semi-formal, and we'll see how things end up with that. I know that it's going to be a really fun time, although it is still more than three weeks away. So I guess you could say I'm looking forward to it, whatever that means. I'm not even totally sure.

Life is good, and my sister's musical is on the 28th-30th of April, so we're going to roadtrip down there to see it. She's got the lead! If you want in, tell me, because you're invited.

And lastly, yes, it is my birthday! And I've had a great day so far. I guess you could say it started perfectly with people singing me happy birthday at exactly midnight and then me making a birthday wish having to do with some sort of wisdom. Don't you all wish you knew. And then I got called out by Jason Marx, which was pretty hilarious. That guy, that guy.... = ) I wonder if he was right.

So now I am going to go and chill for a bit. Peace out everybody, and thanks for dealing with this long post! If you read this far, you are a true fan. And there is one super awesome secret revelation that you will all experience before the end of the semester, so keep asking me about it although there's no way in crap that I'll ever tell you. =) I just had to build the suspsense.

Peace!
Bish

Yo!

So, I busted out my San Diego clothes and am getting good and PUMPED to go to PCB! We are going to have one heck of a sweet time, and we'll see whether or not any drama turns up there. I sure hope not, but whatever.

One thing I wanna say - my sister's musical is the week after cru semi-formal, so if my mom is cool w\ it I wanna get a huge group of people together and go see it. Lots of people have already said that they are in, so if my mom's cool with it we'll go. It'll be a blast!

And, that means that I will have no excuse to not go to semi-formal. See, I like semi-formal but that means I have to ask a girl to go. Blah. I'm sick of it, because it never works out for me. On the bright side, I know there are a bunch of girls that want to go to this one so hopefully I won't get rejected.

Ha!

Nah, there's basically no chance that I get rejected for semi-formal unless I ask a random girl that don't know. I'll probably go with a friend or something. At least it'll be in a large group.

Yep - I'm in PCB. I'll tell you all about it!
Bish

Hello hello my dears!!!
Yay for a gorgeous day!! :) I am sooo soo sorry I have been such a slacker lately, and this post will hafta be short too. School has decided it wants to kick my butt hard core, so I have been crazy crazy busy with that, and exam #4 of the week is tomorrow-ahhhhh!!!!
But anywho, yeah besides school craziness, life is really really good. And I am soooooooo excited for spring break! Yay for chicago, my sis, my oh-so cute grandparents, the city!!!!!, concerts, awesome friends, hiking (maybe, right car??), and Easter. Soooooo excited!!! I hope all of you have lotsa fun on your break, and to you PCB-ers-I'm soo jealous of you. Have a blast, take lots of pics, and bring some sunshine back for me!! (and some shells, if ya happen to find any fun ones!!) Be safe-all of you will be in my prayers!
To end this, I got THE coolest thing in the mail from my mom the other day. I swear, she always knows when I am stressed and just always does something to make me smile. Anywho, I thought this little poem was awesome-hope ya like it! :)

Road to Life

At, first I saw God as my observer, my judge keeping track of the things I did wrong, so as to know whether I merited heaven or hell when I die. He was there, sort of like a president; I recognized His picture when I saw it, but I really didn’t know Him.
But later on when I met Christ, it seemed as though life were rather like a bike ride, but it was a tandem bike, and I noticed that Christ was in the back helping me pedal.
I don’t know just when it was that He suggested we change place, but life has not been the same since.
When I had control, I knew the way. It was rather boring, but predictable…it was the shortest distance between two points. But when He took the lead, He knew delightful long cuts, up mountains, and through rocky places at breakneck speeds. It was all I could do to hang on! Even though it looked like madness, He said, “Pedal!”
I worried and was anxious and asked, “Where are you taking me?” He laughed and didn’t answer, and I started to learn to trust.
I forgot my boring life and entered into the ad venture, and when I’d say, “I’m scared”, He’d lean back and touch my hand.
He took me to people with gifts that I needed, gifts of healing, acceptance and joy. They gave me their gifts to take on my journey, my Lord’s and mine.
And we were off again He said, “Give the gifts away; they’re extra baggage, too much weight.” So I did, to the people we met, and I found that in giving I received, and still our burden was light.
I did not trust Him, at first, in control of my life. I thought He’ll wreck it; but He knows bike secrets, knows how to make it bend to take sharp corners, jump to clear high rocks, fly to shorten scary passages. And I am learning to shut up and pedal in the strangest places, and I’m beginning to enjoy the view and the cool breeze on my face with my delightful, constant companion, Christ.
And when I’m sure I just can’t do anymore, He just smiles and says, “PEDAL”. ~ Author Unknown
Thought that was AWESOME!!!! But yeah, i gots to study for my oh-so fun exam. Have a wonderful break everyone, and I wanna hear stories when we get back!!! ~Julie

Well Bish, I can't say that I can completely agree with you, without first saying that I have been a wuss and probably still am, without being a complete hypocrite. So there, now that I've said that, I agree with you.

Part of it was just further discussing the situation and relating all of those nitty, gritty "feelings" and such that come along for the ride to each other. Another part of it was inside my mind, "Not again...", "Why me?", and "She's really cute sitting across from me, turning me down. Oh wait, right, she's turning me down."

I mean, what kind of loser (jokingly) asks if "references will help"? Apparently this kind of loser...

So, being frank does help, both sides, I believe. Being blunt allows each of you to know where the other person is, sit back and wait to see if that person might happen to come to the same place you are, in regards to a relationship. (Waiting is a whole other issue, but it would be interesting to know your opinions of it.) So, let's face it, if you're not ready or able to handle a conversation about where each of you are and want to be in regards to a relationship, you're not ready for a relationship. But, I must point back to one of our earlier points, being ready for a relationship is not a necessity for going on a few "first" dates, just get to know each other. Large groups don't work, Person A is probably going to be awkward hanging out with Person B's friends or vice versa, and if you're in the same close group of friends, you're close enough to jump that first hurdle of integrating towards each other. (Proof by cases above.) So, go ahead and try a first date. ("Brian" is actually a pretty good guy.) (That'll be $5, Bish.)

Be bold, be blunt, experience the world whole-heartedly, guard all hearts with truth, even with some pain, it'll save you both a lot of time and craziness in the long run.

---
I meant to post this earlier, Sunday marked the 1 year anniversary of posting on the blog. So, the blog is also at least one year old, so Happy Anniversary Webpage O' Drama!

Head to PCB tomorrow! Woo! Everybody have a great Spring Break, I'll see you when we get back (unless you're going with, which is super-cool).

Hey Jules, thanks for the post. I have two questions:

1. If you don't want to drive us crazy, then why do you do all the stuff that you do!?!?!?!?!?!?!??!?!!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?! = )

2. When did being frank with a guy backfire, and if that actually did happen and just isn't something you made up, was the guy a completely whiny little wuss?

On that note, I'm quite frankly sick about guys being wussy. There's no excuse for being wussy. Wussy entails a few things:

1. Not taking responsibility for what you do.
2. Not asking girls out because you're afraid.
3. Blaming "unchangeable things" for different problems in your life, such as
a.) We're wired that way
b.) She made me do it

I will openly admit that I have been a wuss most of my life, and probably still am a wuss in some ways. Particularly the baggage I carried around with me because of my parents' divorce, that was an "unchangeable thing" I blamed for my problems. Man, my life is gonna suck cuz I'm gonna have to travel the country and I won't see my parents much when I'm an adult because they live in different places. Then a wise man that's not Calvinist told me something last summer:
"Brian, you don't have to let your past define who you are."
If that's not the best freaking advice I've ever heard aside from the very Gospel itself (and it's a lot like the Gospel too) I don't know what is. Who's gonna complain about things in their life that they don't like and then say that it's because they have to be that way!?!?!?!?! SCREW THAT! IT PISSES ME OFF!

You are who you are, true, and your past is unchangeable. The way you look at life, and the way you live it, however, are completely in your hands. I'm not saying you can just start being perfect suddenly, but if you don't like something about yourself, ESPECIALLY SOMETHING ABOUT YOUR ACTIONS, then just stop doing it. It's not that hard.

The key to all of this is whether or not you actually want to change or not! See, some people will say that they want to change, but they won't. That's because they're lying to everybody, including themselves, saying that they want something that they don't. If they really wanted it (it being to change some part of themselves), then they could do it. But first you have to want it, and if you're not 100% sold out on it then you're probably not gonna make it.

Taking responsibility goes hand in hand with this, so much so that it doesn't even require explanation. Not asking girls out because you're afraid isn't related at all, lol, although it definitely is the sign of a wuss.

So screw excuses, and accept responsibility for what you do. And if you say you want to change, change, because if you really want something you'll do it. No one's holding you back but yourself.

Bish

Hey my dears!!
Ok, sorry for majorly slacking on the blog!!! Life has gotten crazy crazy busy lately, but still, im sorry!!! I really have no idea where to start this post after everything that was written. But here goes:
Ok boys, I'm going to do my best to write the girl's perspective on the dating issue, but again, this is my opinion so it may not go for every girl. I understand what you mean by wanting us to tell you bluntly just so we are both clear as to where the other stands. And honestly, we do compliment you a lot when we turn you down, because you are amazing guys who have a gazzilion qualities that are awesome. However, the particular boy may not be the right one for us. I get where this may get confusing, but I guess it is in a girl's nature (or many a girl's nature) to not want to make a guy feel bad. The situation could get awkward for us, esp. if it came out of, what we see, as nowhere. We may feel put on the spot, leaving us with just wanting to let you know how incredible you are, even though our feelings may not go past friendship. And again, if we are flat out in our feelings, sometimes that backfires, and ends up becoming a big mess. If this has happened in our past, we will be really hestitant to handle the situation in the same way, hence the compliments. But I do understand your frustrations with the situation because I know I am guilty of handling some situations in a similar manner. I think it is just because we don't want to hurt your guys' feelings, especially since we know it must have taken a lot for you to throw yourselves out on a line. And in my opinion, if a girl does handle a situation like, "oh let's hang out and we'll see about a date" and you two do talk for a while, and you wonder where you stand, ask her. As hard as that may be because I do hate throwing myself out there, we won't feel like you are being pushy or anything. We understand that you want to know where the situation is going, and we really don't want to drive you crazy, despite what it may seem like. I don't really know if this actually explains our perspective well because i am so exhausted at the moment and also...ahhhh i have to stop being a slacker so i can actually write exactly what comes to mind when I read both of your posts. I swear I will work on that!!!! hehe! have a good night my dears!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ~Julie

Just a quick clarification on my last post. I wasn't saying that all girls are straight out lying, nor was I saying most would, but it's just a thing of perspective. What a girl sees as a 'no,' a guy sees as a window of opportunity later on, if he can just not screw up/prove himself until then. But, it seems like in this day and age, that's half the fun.*

I will concede that it is mostly our (guys) faults for being so pathetically hopeful and invested in a single question, and I would much rather take a fall than have a girl feel bad, but just another insight to us**.


*Jason hopes that he has not screwed up in this, his last post, or any post, nor is this post a result of his screwing up, it is a clear-conscience post.

**Jason does not necessarily represent all male populus, his opinions should be taken with a unique grain of salt, and realization that yes, he is an idiot.

***Thank you.

Howdy everyone.

Jason! Thanks for your post. Insight like that is beautiful, and I'm glad that you randomly infiltrated our WPOD about a year ago so that you can lend your genius to it. It's not usually an arbitrary thing when we ask a girl out, and you're right, we usually do think about it a lot. I hope that we can draw the line there and not get hurt by getting turned down from a date though. I wonder what would happen if girls thought we could actually get turned down without being emotionally destroyed? We'd probably see a lot more truth and a lot less grace. A little truth helps at times.

One thing I wanted to say: I think I probably seem like I'm accusing girls of dishonesty. Although what they say may actually not be honest (this is totally case specific, and I'd bet that half the time we won't ever know), I'm not really mad about that part. I know that everything that girls do when they turn us down, even the cop out excuses, are part of their trying to be nice to us. They don't tell us we're awesome out of malice. I appreciate their good intentions, really! The point of my last post was that, with all their good intentions considered, they should really know to turn us down flat. If they want to help us out, in my opinion, they should do it quick with the least ambiguity possible. We're fickle, if you think about it, and will take any little piece of hope given - that's not good for us.

"One in a million? So you're saying there's a chance!"

Bish

I have to agree with Bish on his last post, there are different ideas of dating, and different perspectives. We just need to try to understand each other's view point, which I think Bish did a great job explaining the guys' side.

To summarize my opinion quickly, girls, just be honest. It's so much easier and less complicated later on when you're honest with us. You may think you're being honest with us when you turn us down, but girls give some small bit of mortal hope, and hope gives optimism, so everything seems on the positive and less realistic.

Two weeks after the first time he asked you out, and you said "we should get to know each other better before we date." He's been getting to know you in an accelerated fashion for these past two weeks, an incredible amount of IM conversations, being sure to talk to you before leaving CRU (or random group outing), and the fact that he remembers your birthday, that you really like the Omega Brownie Sundae with extra hot chocolate and 2 marchino cherries from random Ice Cream Shoppe #3, and that cute little scar on your chin is from a lying older sibling, a "magic" carpet, and an adventure down the stairs as a child.

But let's face it, it's never about how much he knows about you, nor is it about how much you know about us, I will be an open book to the girl I like, almost too open. But the fact is, we think that since we've gotten to know more about you, and ultimately, gotten to know you more, we think there might be a chance now. As for how much we have to know or when we ask you to hang out the next time all depends on complex variables that we calculate in our head, like second-nature.
Guy: "Well, I've really learned a lot about her, I actually like her more now. Yesterday, she came up to me and started a conversation, maybe I have a chance now. Maybe she found something about me that she likes. I should go ask her to hang out again."

[Guy asks and is turned down with one of the numerous cop-out excuses.]

Guy: "Hmm... she must not have gotten to know me well enough. I'll ask in another two weeks after we talk some more."

Aw, the poor guy, she's made up her mind, it's not a matter of persuasion, it's not a consideration of "history," she doesn't like you, but why did she say "we need to get to know each other better."

You see how it goes, the guy over-analyzes it to give him the benefit of the doubt the majority of the time. So, I'm not going to devolve this into the argument of semantics in which the girls argue that they were honest with us and just need more time. I'd just like you to see our point-of-view. You girls are awesome, we don't think that we deserve one of you, but we'd really like to, and if that means sharing our deepest thoughts and history, fine. If it means hanging out at places we'd rather not be seen, fine. If it means hitting the gym 6 days a week, fine. You're worth it, there's no argument there, but just be honest with us, all of the guys I know are worth that and so much more.

Based on what I know, everyone seems to have pretty different perspectives on dating. Regardless of whether or not you think dating is serious or casual, there are certain things girls need to know when a guy wants to pursue them (in a dating or non dating way). One of the most important things, I think, is how a girl should turn down a guy in a way that makes it easiest for them to go on with their life. So, REGARDLESS of whether or not you think that 1 on 1 dating is the worst thing ever or if you think that it is a perfectly fine thing that can be done between two mature people (which is my personal opinion), girls need to know how to turn a guy down.

Before you read this post, I'd like to reference a time I got turned down by my good friend Trisha in my Junior year of high school. I asked her what she thought about our relationship, and whether or not it could be anything more than friendship. She said something along the lines of, "I see you as a great friend. Maybe sometime in the future things will work out, and you're a great guy. So who knows what will happen but now I think that we're good where we are."

When I read that, I knew it wasn't good. But it tormented me. I think that's just a horrible way for a girl to turn a guy down, and girls need insight into how guys' minds work if they want to turn us down well. If you care to spend some time reading the post, you can learn my take on the subject of how to turn a guy down.

And finally, PLEASE don't read into this post anything more than what it says. People love to send me nasty emails assuming I meant something that I didn't say on the blog. I maintain my stance that such people are dumb.

By Brian Bish

How not to turn a guy down:

1. Don't compliment him.
2. Don't tell him that the reason is because of you being worried about him.
3. Don't wait a long time to turn him down.
4. Don't give us a long list of reasons about things that could change that would make it work out - that will give us hope, and hope will lead us on worse.
5. Don't do it in a way that makes you not feel bad about not liking the guy. If you don't like us we're not going to blame you.
6. Don't feel bad at all. We put ourselves on the line when we asked you out (or said we wanted to pursue you or whatever), so at least put yourself on the line enough to be straight without feeling bad. We're not ashamed of how we feel, you shouldn't be either.

How to turn a guy down:

1. Tell him it's because you're not interested.
2. Don't be too sensitive and treat us like babies - just tell us bluntly.
3. Do it upfront and quickly - don't wait a long time.

By doing it in the above way, there will be no confusion about whether or not we have a chance or whether or not we should continue pursuing the girl. We can move on with our lives and not plague ourselves with wondering if things were different or if we could change.

Example:
Guy: Would you date me? (Alternate question: Can I pursue you?)
Girl: Yeah!
Girl later (next day): Well, it'd be great to do it but I don't want to possibly hurt you. You're great guy, but right now, I see you as a friend.

Here's what is right with this
1. She talked to the guy quickly.
2. She said yeah the first time.

Here's what is wrong with this
1. She told him he was great. This has been told to him every time he's been turned down. He automatically thinks, "If I am a great guy, then why won't you even go on one date with me? You don't even know me well. And if you don't know me how do you know I'm great? Bogus."

2. She told him that she doesn't want to hurt him. Guess what, if you're going to not go out with him (or let him pursue you, etc) because of the idea that doing so would hurt him, you're totally disrespecting his ability to be a guy. I mean, as a guy, if he gets hurt it's his own doing, not the girl's. He should be clear about his intentions and when the time is right he should ask the girl hers. He shouldn't expect that her going on the date (or hanging out in groups or whatever you non 1 on 1 dating people do) is any type of commitment for her to like him - that very thought is RIDICULOUS. If he gets hurt because she says yes and then turns him down later, that's the guy's fault. The girl didn't do anything wrong there, unless she lied about her feelings.

3. She said not right now. When, then, will it be ok? The guy is left wondering how long it's going to be before she likes him. The very idea that she doesn't now but may in the future just plays with his mind. Even if it is true that the girl could like him in the future, she should just leave that out entirely. Don't make him feel better by giving him a glimmer of hope. It will just toy with him, and he'll think about it over and over what he should do to make it work out at some point in the future. Just tell him you're not interested and let him get over it and move on. That's for his best, and probably the girl's too.

4. I see you as a friend. Guess what? We've heard this about every other time too. We are PRETTY SURE you see us as a friend. We don't expect you to like us. We don't have (or at least SHOULD NOT HAVE) too much expectations of what will come, we just wanna get to know you better because we think you're a good girl with definite potential. If both parties stay honest and have good communication, then there is no problem with getting to know someone better just as friends. The guy probably hopes that the girl might like him eventually, but if she doesn't and she's clear about that then what else could the guy hope for? If the guy gets hurt because she gave him a chance and didn't like him, then he's an idiot. There's a lot of girls out there and the guy should trust that there's one for him somewhere.

Words from the experienced for girls that don't get it.
Bish

PS: I've been turned down multiple times in my life - the cop out excuses from last semester were a compilation of some of those. The different ways I've been turned down have the same patterns, the most common ones given above. Other guys tell me the same - I know how you girls work. No girl has committed all of them. And it's cool too, I'm used to it by now, trust me. If you read this, take my advice for what it is, advice from a guy that's been there.

Plus, it's 2:49 in the morning, and I'm feeling good and stupid. My best posts come at times like these, so I'd say that this post is an authoritative work on the subject.

= )

Maybe you were hoping for new material, but in the spirit of my week I decided to repost this - I threw in one piece of commentary.

Bish 23:
The Lord is our love, we do not need women. He makes us to be happy without them. He leads us so we do not need them. However, he brings us to the right one eventually. He guides me to her paths for His glory. Yea, though we walk through the valley of the shadow of women, we shall fear no rejection [Romans 8:28]. For He is with us, his sovereignty dominates. He prepares a table where we will both sit on a date at some point. He has anointed our salads with oil (or ranch), our cups get free refills. Surely we will find the girl and goodness and happiness will follow us all the days of our lives, and the two of us shall dwell in the same house... until we die anyway.

Life is good, regardless of my drama. After my last post, I realized that since there probably aren't many girls out there wanting to do ministry, I was going to HAVE to totally rely on God for it. I mean seriously, it's not like there's a bunch of girls willing to do ministry for their life, and even less that want to do it.

But this idea of trusting God for girls isn't new. Actually, last year when I dated that one girl whose name I erased from the blog (I offended her in my ignorance and stupidity), she didn't believe me when I told her that I was totally cool with being friends. What I said was true - I didn't need her. I don't need a girlfriend. I don't think she gave me as much credit as I deserved, however little that should be, because she thought that girls was an area where I struggled.

Whoa.

That's not really true in any way - just because I'm not afraid to ask a girl out (although I think I'll always be nervous during the actual process of asking a girl out), that doesn't mean I struggle with girls. My self image and self worth is totally independent of that aspect of my life. I mean, heck, if it wasn't I'd be depressed all the time, because it's not like I have great luck. But whatever.

The reason I bring this up is because I realize now, and probably now for the first time, just how much I need to rely on God for my ending up with a girl. God works all things to our good ("our" being those who are called according to his purpose), right? Well, if that is true, then I know that even in failed attempts with girls, God's working for my best. And I know that in a successful attempt with a girl, God is working for my best. How can I lose? The only way I would not ask a girl out would be because of complete and utter cowardice, and ultimately it would be because of a lack of trust in the Lord's looking out for my best.

So, if your motivations are clear and you don't think it'd be sin, ask a girl out. It's fun! You get to stumble over your words, forget what you said immediately after you're done, and basically be awkward the entire time. And if you're smooth, then you get to rock (that's not me).

But whether you're smooth or awkward, when you do it, do it because you know that the result will inherently be part of God's process of changing you into what He wants you to be.

And plus, girls are super, pretty, awesome, and nice.
Bish